Details surrounding Terrence Howard’s tumultuous divorce proceedings from his second wife, Michelle Ghent, have emerged — and to label things between the former couple “complicated” would be a massive understatement. Judge Thomas T. Lewis suggested Howard “learn some restraint” and stop making “extemporaneous statements” during a court hearing that took place yesterday, following multiple outbursts from the actor.

Howard was reportedly unhappy with the revelations that were uncovered in court, repeatedly claiming he felt “ambushed.” The more explosive details surrounding their relationship include reported drug use, jealousy and suicide threats. Howard allegedly wrote a text in 2009 that threatened suicide. It said, “I’m sitting here at lunch hoping you’ll call…every minute of every day I feel like putting an end to this miserable existence…every lie I’ve told to you are equal in my mind to putting bullets into a clip and firing them at my future…I am devastated by my stupidity.” An email he reportedly wrote echoed similar thoughts: “I couldn’t do anything but sit there [looking] at a f—king razor blade…I just wanted to die…I’ll look for you in my next lifetime.” He also allegedly wrote, “My heart still belongs to you. If I had to cut off both my arms to appease the things [I have] done, [I would].”

Howard claimed that Ghent was consistently blackmailing him, and that the only reason he dismissed an investigation into her supposed threats was “to save [his] career.” He then likened the situation to “the Jews giving in to the Germans [and going] to Auschwitz.” The Empire actor also seemed to liken his relationship with Ghent to a case Stockholm syndrome, saying, “I loved her and was also afraid of her. Love is a very complicated thing…I was in love with the person who [was holding me] captive…The only time she wasn’t a threat…was when we were together.” Ghent, meanwhile, told Howard over the phone: “You’re a great guy — you can be…you are such a good manipulator…I think you’re crazy…I’ve done things in defense because you’ve hurt me…that last time.”

Additional text messages furthered the depiction of Howard as an extremely possessive partner. He reportedly wrote, “I will never allow another man to be with you. Whoever tried to take my life will lose his existence.” Another text read, “I will never allow a restraining order or anything to keep me from my wife.” He claimed to have sent those texts in an attempt to keep Ghent from hurting him, recalling a time the couple were in Costa Rica when Ghent reportedly maced him. Despite this, Howard repeatedly tried to get back together with Ghent after their split, claiming he would leave his then-wife Mira Park, who he has a son with and divorced earlier this year. Ghent and Howard are reportedly fighting over spousal support payments — she says he owes her more money following his massive success on Empire.