There’s always a lot of backlash from the black community, typically regarding successful black men who happen to marry white (or other race) women. The circulating notion is that a black man can’t talk about loving and respecting black women then date/marry the alternative (usually white women are the most controversial). It’s unfortunate that the Get Out rules are applied when discussing people’s lives, director Jordan Peele is married to a white woman, by the way. 

The implication is that white women prey on successful black men (who secretly desire nothing more than to acquire the trophy wife [a white woman] once they can afford one). These societally crafted concepts have always annoyed me. Why can’t one just peacefully love who they choose? The black community can be specifically critical of our own: regardless of the topic. (Remember that sweet little Olympian girl Gabby Douglas who was ridiculed about her hair a couple of years ago? That all started with my beloved black people.) I say live and let live, it’s beautiful mixing cultures. And if you are a true activist, you’d know that the Donald Glovers of the world are exercising the very right that was hard earned by our predecessors, namely, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. You might’ve heard of him once or twice.

It’s ridiculous to believe that the love, admiration and appreciation for black women and the choice to date an asian one are mutually exclusive. A good friend of mine brought something to my attention during a similar discussion we were having. He offered the scientific viewpoint that a person who obtains a certain set of genetics consequently seeks to expand them through the wondrous art of diversification. In other words, If you’re a black man and your parents/siblings are black; you might be born with the natural inclination to seek heterogeneity to amplify the family name. 

That sounds pretty powerful to me. And frankly, it’s disheartening to think that black women in particular take offense to this otherwise excellent aspect of life. As a black man, I applaud when I see black women with white (or other race) men. Factually, most of the black women in my social circle are dating outside of their race. The woman my Grandfather married (after my biological [black] Grandmother left him) long before I was born; is a wisecracking Irish woman with a heart heart of gold who has been there supporting me for my entire life.

Is my Grandfather a sell out? Or is my Grandmother [his current wife] just an awesome person who just so happened to be white? After you answer that question, ask yourself how valid is the argument you pose while condemning the likes of Taye Diggs, Omari Hardwicke, Donald Glover, and Seal to an ill-advised stereotype?

Black women – we love you. I love you and I’m going to need y’all to realize that whether I end up marrying Olivia Olsen or Janelle Monae; nothing will ever change that.